i don't like sucking hair
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
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