Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
