I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Alive.
So much puke
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Randomize
