i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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