I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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