she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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