My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
