Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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