whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Randomize
