we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
dude. I can hear the air.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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