Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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