Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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