Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
