yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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