her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
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