scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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