i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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