I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
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