Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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