I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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