I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Randomize
