nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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