Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I just gargled with NyQuil
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
