I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
