she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
