Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
