i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I believe in your delicious
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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