I accidentally burped into my bong.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
