I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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