Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
