youre lurking in front of me
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize