Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
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