Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Found your dick twin last night
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
