So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
zippers are such a cool invention
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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