Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
