i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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