I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
