Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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