He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
