3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
