he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
