people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
