Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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