his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
