I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Randomize
