Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Randomize
