Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
