So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
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