If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
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