She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
