Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Still dying that you shit outside
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
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