We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
