so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
