I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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