i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize