I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
my poor anus
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Randomize
