I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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