She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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