How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
