hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
