just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Randomize
