out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
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