Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
